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                                  Friday, May 18th - 11:00pm

                   
Like pizza? Sick of walking all the way to the door to pay the delivery guy? We have a rather clever alternative for you.

Continuing on from last week's adventure, it was amusing to hear tech support eat a heaping spoonful of crow as I explained my Internet problems to them.

You see, I understand that many of the people calling for help have no actual problem. It will be something like not having things plugged in right. Or blocking the ventilation on the modem so it overheats. Or not understanding that modems do not magically provide wireless Internet. And, well, many other things that make me a somewhat sad and reluctant member of the species.

I'm not one of these people. In fact, I served for the better part of two years as a home network administrator. So it's safe to assume I know the difference between my being "connected" or "not connected." Of course, the guy couldn't take my word for it.

After doing everything including insulting me, he decided to do the job he was actually paid to do and checked my connection history. At this point, he discovered that my system had lost its connection 391 times in the past 30 days. That's more than ten times every single day - none of them less than an hour and many much, much longer. At this point, he mumbled something to the effect of being sorry for not believing me and actually scheduling someone to come look.

If it made him feel better, the actual technicians who came to my house did make me feel like a total idiot. Most of the things that came out of their mouths seemed to be an odd combination of large numbers and Latin. For the most part, I just nodded and commented on the nice weather we were having.

The problem isn't entirely fixed, as it's a bit more involved than popping off a wall plate and blowing into it this time. But at least I'll be able to have a bit more confidence in providing normal updates. I realize many of the articles came out much later than usual last week. That should normalize now.

In actual terms of me accomplishing things, I'm happy to report that all the sectional FAQs are done now.

From an entertainment standpoint, I don't think people are enormous fans of them. But from a strict viewpoint of proper site operation, they have to be done. I don't like to leave up old questions for more than a year at a time. I'm relatively sure the last one made frequent references to "Y2K," so we'll just say it was out of date.

For those hoping for something a bit more fun to look it, the nice part is that it frees up my time for that sort of update. I've made it my personal mission to finish up the last sections of the "Ultimate Nerd Guide" on food. Though, to be fair, given the amount of time I've had to spend in front of a stove and not in front of a computer screen to do the proper research, well, it's understandable why it's taking a while.

It's not like the relationship one. Aside from asking Jess a question or two, I didn't have to do any real research. And even then, I didn't have to leave my desk.

As a last note on the topic of food, I thought I'd mention a small idea I had in regards to the section. A big problem I have isn't so much eating new and limited edition foods. It's writing the actual reviews. Sometimes there are five things to try in a week, which mostly guarantees only getting to one or two of the snacks. Other times, the product is so simple I can hardly justify making it a column.

To that end, I've devised a column idea with a hilarious name - Honorable Munchins. This will be for the food items that I don't have the time or interest in making a proper review for. Each one will feature two or more smaller write-ups.

Either way, I'm doing it, if only to use that name.

I've also finished five full pages of writing for my book. (This will be reflected shortly on the proper page - I'd like to make a progress bar of some kind so it's easier to tell how close I am to winning or losing the bet.) This may not seem like a lot. And it's not. You probably thought I was going to defend myself. Nah. I can do better.

And speaking of writing, I probably have some to do on some topic. So I'll get to it. Until next time, may your screen resolutions be high and your Error 37's be infrequent.

-Wander      

   
The first wave of news arrived on the upcoming online "Elder Scrolls" title. Well, maybe not a wave. More of a ripple.

             
Want pizza rolls? Hate waiting an agonizing two minutes for them to cook? "Totino's" comes to the rescue with a new snack.

         
The long-anticipated final column on how to make your very own cel art. What a long, strange trip it's been. Heady days...

        
After a long absence and so-so prequel, Selene returns. And this time, she fights badly-outclassed humans. Oh, yes.

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